One thing I’ve been wrestling with in working with my theme of Gratitude this year is what you might call the “Pollyanna factor”: gratitude is a syrupy sweet, simple-minded or even damaging version of toxic positivity. “Just smile and look on the bright side,” (she says through gritted teeth).
But, of course, the world has many ills that need real attention. People are suffering, and it feels like the engaged and empathic thing to do is to suffer greatly along with them, not list our blessings.
In his book, The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World, the Dalai Lama says that, for most of us, the bad things about the world have an out-sized place in our perception of reality. Human brains have evolved to have a negativity bias. (Being on alert for the mountain lion and remembering the horrible incident of the poisonous berries have helped us survive.) But, it also, unfortunately, narrows and limits our scope of reality. Yes, there are heinous crimes reported on the news, but the reason they make the news at all is that the vast majority of people are not doing them. The vast majority of people are caring for their loved ones and saying pleasant hellos to their neighbors.
To ignore the good of life is simply to have a distorted view of the world. It is like the allegory of the blind man who touches an elephant’s wispy tail and concludes that an elephant is like a broom. When you only focus on one part, you end up with a false image of the whole.
And you’re wrong.
To expand your scope and get a fuller, truer vision of the rest of reality, including all those wonderful bits of joy like red autumn leaves, indoor plumbing, snuggles in bed, and community members caring for one another, join 100 Days of Magic for free in the Mother Den community, and list 3 pieces of magic from everyday life from now until the end of 2022.
Danielle LaSusa Ph.D. is a Philosophical Coach, helping new moms grapple with what it means to make a person. She is the creator of The Meaning of Motherhood course, and co-creator and co-host of Think Hard podcast, which brings fun, accessible, philosophical thinking to the real world. To join her mailing list, subscribe here.
© Copyright Danielle LaSusa PhD, LCC, 2021. All rights reserved.
